The Five Senses
Most have the ability to hear, see, touch, taste, and smell. I believe these senses are gifts from God so that we might experience him in his creation. These are my thoughts and ponderings about how what I have experienced has shaped my faith and living.
Jun 25, 2009
Becoming Clarence (already there?)
This post was originally meant to hit the blogwaves around Father's Day in honor of my father. However, I stink at things and am just now getting to this post. So be it.
The other day I was doing something that I felt was important. I don't remember what it was, but I'm sure it was something of the utmost importance at that moment. While I was solving the world's problems, it was time for Hannah to go to bed. She was supposed to be going through her bedtime routine or putting away something before bed. As any 5 year old would do, she was stalling. if you don't pay attention to her, she'll take a half an hour to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth, spending countless minutes playing with the water in the sink.
So, doing what any father would do, I communicated my frustration to her from where I was doing what I was doing. That in itself is ok, I think. In all reality, the scenario probably goes like this: Steph expressed her frustration to me that Hannah was taking too long (ie. frustrated with me that I was letting Hannah take to long by solving the world's problems at my computer when I probably should have been up in the bathroom hurrying her along), which, in turn, I expressed my frustrations to Hannah, which generated the normal five year old response of, "I'm almost done!"
All of that said, the issue is not who was communicating or why they were communicating. The issue at hand is how I said what I said, which I don't really remember. All I know is that when I said it, there was a sudden horror that ran through my being because I sounded just like my father. You know the feeling. . . when you say something that you swore you would never say because it was something that we repeatedly said to you by one of your parents. It's a bad moment.
My wife is happy to point these moments out to me. I'll sneeze a certain way or let out a small little, "woo" for whatever reason and my lovely wife will say, "ok, Clarence." My mom is good at pointing these things out also. I'll be explaining to her something that I'm doing or a new piece of musical equipment that I'm looking to aquire, and she'll say, "you are just like your father!"
Those things sting a little, because when we are younger we really want to become our own person void of any outside influence. We want to be who we want to be.
As I reflected on the yelling moment, which in all honesty has happened more than I would like to admit, becoming like my Dad is not a bad thing at all. You see, my dad is a man who loves his family. He's not outwardly open with that love because he grew up in a time when men were tough as nails and didn't really show any emotion. But, I know that he loves us. You could tell it each day when he would get up at 5:00am to head into the factory to work on a metal brake for 10 hours a day so we had food on the table and a roof over our head. You could tell it when you asked him about a specific chord on the guitar--in about two seconds, he would show you 5 or 6 different options and then hand the guitar back, forcing you to work at it more. You could tell it when he would come home from work and hop into the Monopoly games, helping the one who was losing (normally me), and take a dire situation and win. You could tell when we were sitting around the dinner table eating whatever mom made--he would tell us it was goat or rabbit or something just to mess with us. You could tell it when he anguished over not having a job and not being able to provide for his family when the company he worked for for 26 years moved his job to another part of the country.
My father is a prideful man. He takes pride in his garden, planting seeds months before the garden is ready so the plants are big and strong when they hit the ground. He takes pride in making sure what he is doing is done meticulously and correctly--even if it means painting a board with the smallest brush possible to make sure its right. He takes pride in music--always on a quest for something better sounding. He took pride in carrying for our family with everything he was.
May I grow up to be like him. . . maybe without the yelling tone.
The other day I was doing something that I felt was important. I don't remember what it was, but I'm sure it was something of the utmost importance at that moment. While I was solving the world's problems, it was time for Hannah to go to bed. She was supposed to be going through her bedtime routine or putting away something before bed. As any 5 year old would do, she was stalling. if you don't pay attention to her, she'll take a half an hour to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth, spending countless minutes playing with the water in the sink.
So, doing what any father would do, I communicated my frustration to her from where I was doing what I was doing. That in itself is ok, I think. In all reality, the scenario probably goes like this: Steph expressed her frustration to me that Hannah was taking too long (ie. frustrated with me that I was letting Hannah take to long by solving the world's problems at my computer when I probably should have been up in the bathroom hurrying her along), which, in turn, I expressed my frustrations to Hannah, which generated the normal five year old response of, "I'm almost done!"
All of that said, the issue is not who was communicating or why they were communicating. The issue at hand is how I said what I said, which I don't really remember. All I know is that when I said it, there was a sudden horror that ran through my being because I sounded just like my father. You know the feeling. . . when you say something that you swore you would never say because it was something that we repeatedly said to you by one of your parents. It's a bad moment.
My wife is happy to point these moments out to me. I'll sneeze a certain way or let out a small little, "woo" for whatever reason and my lovely wife will say, "ok, Clarence." My mom is good at pointing these things out also. I'll be explaining to her something that I'm doing or a new piece of musical equipment that I'm looking to aquire, and she'll say, "you are just like your father!"
Those things sting a little, because when we are younger we really want to become our own person void of any outside influence. We want to be who we want to be.
As I reflected on the yelling moment, which in all honesty has happened more than I would like to admit, becoming like my Dad is not a bad thing at all. You see, my dad is a man who loves his family. He's not outwardly open with that love because he grew up in a time when men were tough as nails and didn't really show any emotion. But, I know that he loves us. You could tell it each day when he would get up at 5:00am to head into the factory to work on a metal brake for 10 hours a day so we had food on the table and a roof over our head. You could tell it when you asked him about a specific chord on the guitar--in about two seconds, he would show you 5 or 6 different options and then hand the guitar back, forcing you to work at it more. You could tell it when he would come home from work and hop into the Monopoly games, helping the one who was losing (normally me), and take a dire situation and win. You could tell when we were sitting around the dinner table eating whatever mom made--he would tell us it was goat or rabbit or something just to mess with us. You could tell it when he anguished over not having a job and not being able to provide for his family when the company he worked for for 26 years moved his job to another part of the country.
My father is a prideful man. He takes pride in his garden, planting seeds months before the garden is ready so the plants are big and strong when they hit the ground. He takes pride in making sure what he is doing is done meticulously and correctly--even if it means painting a board with the smallest brush possible to make sure its right. He takes pride in music--always on a quest for something better sounding. He took pride in carrying for our family with everything he was.
May I grow up to be like him. . . maybe without the yelling tone.
Jun 10, 2009
Jelly Toast
This morning I got up at 6:30am. This is nothing out of the norm. I was planning to head into the office early today to get my work done so I could get out early--today is our wedding anniversary! So, I get up, shut off my alarm, and begin to sleepily stagger to the bathroom to start my day. As I walk out of our room, I notice Hannah's door is open. This is not normal for her. So, I poke my head in cautiously to make sure she's ok. As I look I notice she's not there. This is very odd for the child. She's a good sleeper and she stays in her bed or room until we are up for the day. I figure she's in the bathroom. She's not there.
At this point, mild fatherly panic begins slowly sink in. I don't figure she's been kidnapped out of my own house while I'm sleeping across the hallway, but since the child is not in one of the two places she should be, panic is a common response.
Naturally, when you can't find someone in the house that you want to find, you start yelling for them. I called out for Hannah as I went down the steps, sleepily mind you, though the sleepies at this point had been panicked away. She responded, "I'm in the kitchen poppa, I'm making you and momma jelly toast!"
Now, the fact that she was making us jelly toast is cute and sweet. However, a 5 year old child waking up before 6:30am on her own without an alarm clock to make her parents jelly toast for their anniversary is rather concerning to me on many levels. One, how did she wake up so early on her own? Two, a five year old working a toaster that is right beside the stove on a step stool so she can reach everything holding a butter knife is an accident waiting to happen. What if she would have jammed the knife into the toaster? Three, what if the bread would have been moldy? She doesn't know to check for mold. Four and most concerning, Steph and I both slept through the child getting up, probably going to the bathroom, going downstairs, and making jelly toast? We have a baby monitor in her room which picks up the neighbors talking in their garage. We should have woken up.
So, at 6:30am, Steph and I sat in our bed and ate the best jelly toast ever made by an overly confident 5 year old for our 14th anniversary. If she's doing this at 5, who knows what she'll do at 10 or 20.
At this point, mild fatherly panic begins slowly sink in. I don't figure she's been kidnapped out of my own house while I'm sleeping across the hallway, but since the child is not in one of the two places she should be, panic is a common response.
Naturally, when you can't find someone in the house that you want to find, you start yelling for them. I called out for Hannah as I went down the steps, sleepily mind you, though the sleepies at this point had been panicked away. She responded, "I'm in the kitchen poppa, I'm making you and momma jelly toast!"
Now, the fact that she was making us jelly toast is cute and sweet. However, a 5 year old child waking up before 6:30am on her own without an alarm clock to make her parents jelly toast for their anniversary is rather concerning to me on many levels. One, how did she wake up so early on her own? Two, a five year old working a toaster that is right beside the stove on a step stool so she can reach everything holding a butter knife is an accident waiting to happen. What if she would have jammed the knife into the toaster? Three, what if the bread would have been moldy? She doesn't know to check for mold. Four and most concerning, Steph and I both slept through the child getting up, probably going to the bathroom, going downstairs, and making jelly toast? We have a baby monitor in her room which picks up the neighbors talking in their garage. We should have woken up.
So, at 6:30am, Steph and I sat in our bed and ate the best jelly toast ever made by an overly confident 5 year old for our 14th anniversary. If she's doing this at 5, who knows what she'll do at 10 or 20.
Jun 4, 2009
Conversations
It is way too late to be writing a blog entry. It's really too late for anything . . . but I must write.
At about 11:00pm tonight, I got online to chat with one of our students at South about some family issues they are going through. We'd been trying to connect for awhile. Nothing in our schedules worked out except for chatting online. So, onto facebook we went.
Now, I'm not a huge fan of chatting online. I enjoy chatting with people. I've had some amazing conversations with people online on some old software like ICQ. I've been able to keep up with my friend, Marianne (who lives in the Philippines) through online conversations. It's all good. My problem is, once I'm online, I have a hard time logging out. Now, sometimes I get bombarded with chat requests. Everyone has that issue. Other times, I'm at fault because I like to catch up with my old students.
Tonight was no exception. In the matter of 3 or 4 hours I chatted with 7 past and present students from my youth ministry or camp. The challenging thing about tonight was that they were not all simple how's life, did you see the latest movie questions. They were weighty conversations, about life, relationships, forgiveness and so on. Good, healthy conversations about the present moment we are each living in. Good conversations about where God is prompting my friends, even in the darkness that surrounds them.
Tonight made me realize something. . . I'm not having enough conversations. I'm not having enough of the right conversations with those around me. I would guess I'm not even having the right conversations with myself. I'm too busy doing stuff, that while important, is still stuff.
Lord, help me to have more conversations. Help those conversations be centered around us learning to live under your reign in tangible ways. May you give peace to my friends as they struggle through life right now. Be their peace and hope.
At about 11:00pm tonight, I got online to chat with one of our students at South about some family issues they are going through. We'd been trying to connect for awhile. Nothing in our schedules worked out except for chatting online. So, onto facebook we went.
Now, I'm not a huge fan of chatting online. I enjoy chatting with people. I've had some amazing conversations with people online on some old software like ICQ. I've been able to keep up with my friend, Marianne (who lives in the Philippines) through online conversations. It's all good. My problem is, once I'm online, I have a hard time logging out. Now, sometimes I get bombarded with chat requests. Everyone has that issue. Other times, I'm at fault because I like to catch up with my old students.
Tonight was no exception. In the matter of 3 or 4 hours I chatted with 7 past and present students from my youth ministry or camp. The challenging thing about tonight was that they were not all simple how's life, did you see the latest movie questions. They were weighty conversations, about life, relationships, forgiveness and so on. Good, healthy conversations about the present moment we are each living in. Good conversations about where God is prompting my friends, even in the darkness that surrounds them.
Tonight made me realize something. . . I'm not having enough conversations. I'm not having enough of the right conversations with those around me. I would guess I'm not even having the right conversations with myself. I'm too busy doing stuff, that while important, is still stuff.
Lord, help me to have more conversations. Help those conversations be centered around us learning to live under your reign in tangible ways. May you give peace to my friends as they struggle through life right now. Be their peace and hope.
May 25, 2009
Progress
Well. Since my last post, much has happened. The downstairs bathroom has been completed. I still need to hang a curtain and get the towel bars, tp holder and so on, but everything else is done. It turned out rather nice in my opinion. I think my girls like it too. . . Hannah was playing in there tonight. She was making food for momma on the dryer. Now, the only major things left inside to do is paint/trim and carpet in the family room and seal the walls and rafters in the basement. It's really good to finish projects inside.
In the last month we've also redone the roof, removed the rest of the shrub stumps, and, most recently, moved the brush pile that was left over from cutting down an Ash tree last October. The brush pile was a chore. It was bigger than Mobius (my truck). It took 3 trips to get rid of it all. I also got rid of some leftover wood from the deck and flower beds that I ripped up. The yard is now clean, nicely mowed, and awaiting landscaping--which will happen after we reside the house. Hannah and I even planted some grass tonight. We'll see how it grows in. It has been a busy month.
Now its time to think about the summer--camp, my niece's wedding at the end of June, and figuring out what I'm going to do for my wife on our 14th wedding anniversary.
Its time to rest now.
In the last month we've also redone the roof, removed the rest of the shrub stumps, and, most recently, moved the brush pile that was left over from cutting down an Ash tree last October. The brush pile was a chore. It was bigger than Mobius (my truck). It took 3 trips to get rid of it all. I also got rid of some leftover wood from the deck and flower beds that I ripped up. The yard is now clean, nicely mowed, and awaiting landscaping--which will happen after we reside the house. Hannah and I even planted some grass tonight. We'll see how it grows in. It has been a busy month.
Now its time to think about the summer--camp, my niece's wedding at the end of June, and figuring out what I'm going to do for my wife on our 14th wedding anniversary.
Its time to rest now.
Apr 23, 2009
Updates and Requests
Well, I'm trying to become more regular with my blog. I'm actually blogging within a week of my last post. Things are on a roll. Maybe because its because I'm on "vacation". I haven't been in the office regularly this week. I had to pop in on Tuesday to do some work for the weekend, and I've been in a few evenings doing testing for Dave Ramsey's Town Hall. But, for the rest of the time, I've been on "vacation". By vacation, I mean, not working at the office, but working at home.
It's been over a year now that we've owned our house. We're about 2/3 of the way through the renovations. We did good till we moved in back in June. Then we got busy with summer and pretty much quit working on the house. My goal is to have it mostly all done by our 14th wedding anniversary in June. We'll see how it goes. I still have a lot of stuff to do. Recently, the downstairs bathroom has been the focus. I put up the last sheet of drywall tonight. I hope to paint it sometime next week and put in the flooring. Then all that will be left will be trim, installing the vanity, reinstalling the crapper, and putting in a drop ceiling. All in all, it should go quickly, depending on how the big project for this week goes.
On Monday I was hoping to start my roof. Its in really bad shape. However, when I plan to work outside, God decides that we need rain. Tomorrow is Thursday. We're starting tomorrow. Thanks a lot God. My prayer, and hopefully yours too, is that everything goes smoothly in the next couple of days so that by Sunday, we have a new, beautiful roof. Then all that will be left outside is new siding and landscaping. We'll definitely get the landscaping done this year. We'll see about the siding--because when the siding gets replaced, so do the windows.
Outside of church work and house work, my mind has really been chewing on who we are and what we are supposed to be as Christians. All of the thoughts stem from the class, Scripture and Christian Living, that I'm getting to teach at GLCC this semester. Its really made me think hard about what it is I do and why I do it.
I've been at South now for about 8 1/2 years. I think I've done ok ministry. I'm sure I could have done better ministry in that time, had certain cards played out. I've really had an effect on the lives of the students that were in my youth ministry at the start. Many of them have gone into ministry or are working towards that goal. That excites me and helps me to know I did something good. But, at the same time, I wonder what else I could have done? Since I can't change things, my mind quickly goes to what I should be doing now. How should I be doing ministry to really affect change in the lives of those I'm ministering to right now. How do I push us farther into being who God wants us to be? What does that even look like?
The challenging and sobering thing is, what I think that looks like (what we are supposed to be) is not something I have aimed for in the last few years. Rather, I've focused on what I need to get done for my job and that is that. I don't know that I've fully had a ministry mind. I mean, its there and that's why I do what I do. Yet, I'm not continually asking the question, where do we need to go and how do we get there? Normally, the questions of the day are what do I need to get done this week, and how do I get it done in the time I have?
My prayer is that all this reflecting and chewing, the study for class, and the subsequent discussions with some of my students (and the voices in my head), will challenge me to rethink who I am, what I am doing with my life, and what I should be doing for others under the reign of God. I'm curious to know what you might think those things might be--what they look like and how they get played out. Please feel free to comment below!
It's been over a year now that we've owned our house. We're about 2/3 of the way through the renovations. We did good till we moved in back in June. Then we got busy with summer and pretty much quit working on the house. My goal is to have it mostly all done by our 14th wedding anniversary in June. We'll see how it goes. I still have a lot of stuff to do. Recently, the downstairs bathroom has been the focus. I put up the last sheet of drywall tonight. I hope to paint it sometime next week and put in the flooring. Then all that will be left will be trim, installing the vanity, reinstalling the crapper, and putting in a drop ceiling. All in all, it should go quickly, depending on how the big project for this week goes.
On Monday I was hoping to start my roof. Its in really bad shape. However, when I plan to work outside, God decides that we need rain. Tomorrow is Thursday. We're starting tomorrow. Thanks a lot God. My prayer, and hopefully yours too, is that everything goes smoothly in the next couple of days so that by Sunday, we have a new, beautiful roof. Then all that will be left outside is new siding and landscaping. We'll definitely get the landscaping done this year. We'll see about the siding--because when the siding gets replaced, so do the windows.
Outside of church work and house work, my mind has really been chewing on who we are and what we are supposed to be as Christians. All of the thoughts stem from the class, Scripture and Christian Living, that I'm getting to teach at GLCC this semester. Its really made me think hard about what it is I do and why I do it.
I've been at South now for about 8 1/2 years. I think I've done ok ministry. I'm sure I could have done better ministry in that time, had certain cards played out. I've really had an effect on the lives of the students that were in my youth ministry at the start. Many of them have gone into ministry or are working towards that goal. That excites me and helps me to know I did something good. But, at the same time, I wonder what else I could have done? Since I can't change things, my mind quickly goes to what I should be doing now. How should I be doing ministry to really affect change in the lives of those I'm ministering to right now. How do I push us farther into being who God wants us to be? What does that even look like?
The challenging and sobering thing is, what I think that looks like (what we are supposed to be) is not something I have aimed for in the last few years. Rather, I've focused on what I need to get done for my job and that is that. I don't know that I've fully had a ministry mind. I mean, its there and that's why I do what I do. Yet, I'm not continually asking the question, where do we need to go and how do we get there? Normally, the questions of the day are what do I need to get done this week, and how do I get it done in the time I have?
My prayer is that all this reflecting and chewing, the study for class, and the subsequent discussions with some of my students (and the voices in my head), will challenge me to rethink who I am, what I am doing with my life, and what I should be doing for others under the reign of God. I'm curious to know what you might think those things might be--what they look like and how they get played out. Please feel free to comment below!
Apr 17, 2009
A Poor Excuse
It seems like its been ages since I've even thought of this blog. It seems like its been months since I've posted here. It's not that my mind has not been active. I have many things that I need/want to write about. Maybe someday soon, I'll find time . . . maybe someday soon I'll MAKE time to unpack my head of the thoughts, memories, and reflections.
For all 4 of you that read this, thank you for your patience.
For all 4 of you that read this, thank you for your patience.
Mar 12, 2009
Prayers for Bianca
When I first met Bianca, she was a high school kid who loved to play basketball. She was one of the 10 students who attended the first Deeper Life week of camp at Michiana Christian Service Camp. She was a good kid. Over the next few years, it was cool to watch her grow up and become a young lady and return to camp to serve as a faculty member. Then she got married and we lost touch.
A month or so ago, as I was continuing/feeding my addiction to facebook, I decided to look up some old students and see (i.e. spy through the Internet) how they were doing. Unfortunately, being as good as I am with remembering people's names, I couldn't remember Bianca's last name. This is not unusual for me. In fact, you should be impressed that I remembered her first name. (I know, I'm gifted) I tried scanning friends of others who have been connected to Deeper Life and so on, but had no luck and gave up, grumbling to myself that I need to do better with remembering important things like names.
Now, before I go any farther, my friend Dean continually talks about this thing called divine appointments. These are times when he thinks God has put specific people in his path so he can help and pray for them. In turn, he asks for prayer requests from anyone he comes in contact with--resturaunt servers, people he sits by on airplanes, and so on. He commits to pray for their request for one month. Not surprisingly, he has some great stories about what God has done through these connections.
Back to Bianca . . . even though I couldn't connect with Bianca, she was still in my mind and on my heart. In the process, I would periodically pray for her. It wasn't anything specific, since it had been years since I connected with her. Then, a few weeks ago, I get this email from her:
Wally,
Hey! I was trying to find some contact information you, and I guess I did. I'm pretty sure you're the Wally Lowman I know. I also saw a picture of your family. I remember Stephanie, too, but although late, congratulations on your child. It's been a long time. I don't think I even knew you had a child. She's beautiful. I hope all is well with you.
Do you remember me? I used to go to Michiana Christian Service Camp as a camper and faculty. I attended one the first Deeper Life Camp and helped work at least one with you and Eric Christian. Unmarried, I was Bianca Baker, but now and am Bianca Ash. It's been 9 1/2 years since I got married, and probably at least 7 years since I've seen or talked with you. You were a great inspiration in my life as a high school students, and I still remember my times at camp. Your worship services were the best. I'm trying to get back to my "roots" right now. I have thought about trying to get in contact with you for awhile now, but now I need your prayers. I am teaching special education at Culver Community Schools in Culver, IN, and this is my 6th year but 7th year teaching. I work with students that have mild and emotional disabilities. I have three children now. Kennedy is 7 1/2, Collin is almost 6, and Riley is 4, and I am still married to Jim.
Collin began having seizures in November of 2007. He was diagnosed with epilepsy in January 2008 and was called severely epileptic in August of 2008. We have seen three different neurologists and have tried seven different anti-epileptic medications. The medications have not worked. This past summer, we found a local neurologist who thought that Collin should undergo a surgical evaluation for his epilepsy. He sent us to see Dr. Mary Zupanc at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin in Milwaukee. Collin began the surgical evaluation in October of 2008. We were told he was an excellent surgical candidate because of the location of the seizures, his age, and short amount of time he has had seizures. Collin went through numerous tests including, multiple MRI's, a PET scan, a neuropsychological evaluation, and an 8 day stay in the hospital to monitor his seizures. On February 11th, we met with the neurologist and neurosurgeon. We went in thinking that Collin would be having one maybe two of the lobes from the right side of his brain removed. We were told that he was definitely having three lobes removed (temporal, parietal, and occipital). They then went on to tell us that they believe he has Rasmussen's syndrome which is a rare neurological condition. Once they remove the initial three lobes, pathology will be done on the brain. If the pathology confirms the diagnosis of Rasmussen's syndrome, he will go back to surgery, and they will remove the remainder of the right side of the brain (frontal lobe and motor strip). This will leave Collin with a limp on the left side (should be able to walk and run), and he will lose fine finger movements in the left hand (he is left-handed). This was an extremely difficult day for Jim and I. Surgery is set for March 26th. He will be in the hospital for about a week, and we will probably be home before they get the pathology back on the brain. But, I would have to say that the doctors sounded 99% certain that he has Rasmussen's.
I am asking for your prayers for Collin, especially, but for my whole family. This has been a long struggle or Jim and I as a married couple, and we are trying our best to get through it.
Bianca
You can imagine the rush of emotion--excitement that this girl I was wanting to connect with was connecting with me at the start instantly changing to pain and sorrow for her and her family as I read about what they are enduring right now. Even now, a few weeks after the email, her story stuns and pains me.
I believe God was prompting me to connect with Bianca because she is in need. And, you and I can help with that need. I'm asking you to daily pray for Bianca and her family. Pray that God would remove the epilepsy from Collin and that there would not have to be any surgery. Pray that Bianca and Jim continue to have peace and hope, even in this painful, uncertain time. Pray that God will be the God he calls himself to be to them.
If you would like to email Bianca and encourage her, you can do so by clicking here. Thank you for joining with me.
A month or so ago, as I was continuing/feeding my addiction to facebook, I decided to look up some old students and see (i.e. spy through the Internet) how they were doing. Unfortunately, being as good as I am with remembering people's names, I couldn't remember Bianca's last name. This is not unusual for me. In fact, you should be impressed that I remembered her first name. (I know, I'm gifted) I tried scanning friends of others who have been connected to Deeper Life and so on, but had no luck and gave up, grumbling to myself that I need to do better with remembering important things like names.
Now, before I go any farther, my friend Dean continually talks about this thing called divine appointments. These are times when he thinks God has put specific people in his path so he can help and pray for them. In turn, he asks for prayer requests from anyone he comes in contact with--resturaunt servers, people he sits by on airplanes, and so on. He commits to pray for their request for one month. Not surprisingly, he has some great stories about what God has done through these connections.
Back to Bianca . . . even though I couldn't connect with Bianca, she was still in my mind and on my heart. In the process, I would periodically pray for her. It wasn't anything specific, since it had been years since I connected with her. Then, a few weeks ago, I get this email from her:
Wally,
Hey! I was trying to find some contact information you, and I guess I did. I'm pretty sure you're the Wally Lowman I know. I also saw a picture of your family. I remember Stephanie, too, but although late, congratulations on your child. It's been a long time. I don't think I even knew you had a child. She's beautiful. I hope all is well with you.
Do you remember me? I used to go to Michiana Christian Service Camp as a camper and faculty. I attended one the first Deeper Life Camp and helped work at least one with you and Eric Christian. Unmarried, I was Bianca Baker, but now and am Bianca Ash. It's been 9 1/2 years since I got married, and probably at least 7 years since I've seen or talked with you. You were a great inspiration in my life as a high school students, and I still remember my times at camp. Your worship services were the best. I'm trying to get back to my "roots" right now. I have thought about trying to get in contact with you for awhile now, but now I need your prayers. I am teaching special education at Culver Community Schools in Culver, IN, and this is my 6th year but 7th year teaching. I work with students that have mild and emotional disabilities. I have three children now. Kennedy is 7 1/2, Collin is almost 6, and Riley is 4, and I am still married to Jim.
Collin began having seizures in November of 2007. He was diagnosed with epilepsy in January 2008 and was called severely epileptic in August of 2008. We have seen three different neurologists and have tried seven different anti-epileptic medications. The medications have not worked. This past summer, we found a local neurologist who thought that Collin should undergo a surgical evaluation for his epilepsy. He sent us to see Dr. Mary Zupanc at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin in Milwaukee. Collin began the surgical evaluation in October of 2008. We were told he was an excellent surgical candidate because of the location of the seizures, his age, and short amount of time he has had seizures. Collin went through numerous tests including, multiple MRI's, a PET scan, a neuropsychological evaluation, and an 8 day stay in the hospital to monitor his seizures. On February 11th, we met with the neurologist and neurosurgeon. We went in thinking that Collin would be having one maybe two of the lobes from the right side of his brain removed. We were told that he was definitely having three lobes removed (temporal, parietal, and occipital). They then went on to tell us that they believe he has Rasmussen's syndrome which is a rare neurological condition. Once they remove the initial three lobes, pathology will be done on the brain. If the pathology confirms the diagnosis of Rasmussen's syndrome, he will go back to surgery, and they will remove the remainder of the right side of the brain (frontal lobe and motor strip). This will leave Collin with a limp on the left side (should be able to walk and run), and he will lose fine finger movements in the left hand (he is left-handed). This was an extremely difficult day for Jim and I. Surgery is set for March 26th. He will be in the hospital for about a week, and we will probably be home before they get the pathology back on the brain. But, I would have to say that the doctors sounded 99% certain that he has Rasmussen's.
I am asking for your prayers for Collin, especially, but for my whole family. This has been a long struggle or Jim and I as a married couple, and we are trying our best to get through it.
Bianca
You can imagine the rush of emotion--excitement that this girl I was wanting to connect with was connecting with me at the start instantly changing to pain and sorrow for her and her family as I read about what they are enduring right now. Even now, a few weeks after the email, her story stuns and pains me.
I believe God was prompting me to connect with Bianca because she is in need. And, you and I can help with that need. I'm asking you to daily pray for Bianca and her family. Pray that God would remove the epilepsy from Collin and that there would not have to be any surgery. Pray that Bianca and Jim continue to have peace and hope, even in this painful, uncertain time. Pray that God will be the God he calls himself to be to them.
If you would like to email Bianca and encourage her, you can do so by clicking here. Thank you for joining with me.